Identifying a 'Slut'

I call someone a “slut” when they use sex to get something, be it a physical object or someone’s affection. In essence, we are all sluts in our own regards.

II. Kind of a Narrative

Amelia suffered from broken relationships. She rejected the concept of God, which for a college student wasn’t exactly rare, but feared in believing in one {God}, giving in to her loneliness, resentment, self-pity, and self-blame. She told herself, “"No one would love me as I am." She had a medical condition. Yes, an addiction. She had never resisted her addiction, obtaining a recurrent failure pattern with which she supposed would be a life-long trend. Amelia continued such behavior even after acknowledging her problem. Constantly, she felt distress, anxiety, restlessness, or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior. At the young age of eleven she had been diagnosed with ADD. It seemed to be too simple an answer to her complex, and multifaceted problem. No, this could not be the right answer. In her later years, like a narcotic, she would venture out to find her drug. Amelia found herself to be compulsive, habitual and uncontrollable. One could say her addiction did not require substance. It was merely psychological and that it was. It required touch. Often, in her dorm room, she found herself searching, constantly, for something to turn her on. Normally, this resulted in ignoring homework and school projects. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media? Sometimes she called in sick from work so she could masturbate. Even if Amelia tried, she couldn’t persuade anyone to understand her life-long secret.

Her relationships. Oh, Amelia’s relationships were full of lust, and fire but they were void and empty of care and commitment, love and kindness. When she fucked (one could hardly call it “lovemaking”) she did it to avoid feelings. Yet, when she orgasmed, she recognized her sex addiction as the source of all her pain. Her actions were degrading to her self; making her susceptible to the men she met. Each new relationship continued to have the same destructive patterns which prompted her to leave or destroy the last relationship. Once she met a boy whom she believed she fell in love with. Eventually, their relationship went from friendship to a weekly or bi-weekly ritual of sex. Like, before her relationship was empty but because of who he was she doubted it. She hoped for a commitment. Yes, he wanted her but she wanted more. That scared him. She became conscious of her fear of abandonment. He took advantage of Amelia’s need for him. Did I mention the video camera? Even when she physically couldn’t stand anymore…lube or no lube Amelia couldn’t say “No.” Recognizing her partner’s ability to take advantage of her she exposed the final straw of self-hatred. She felt a great degree of helplessness. Amelia knew she was a good person, with a good personality and first-rate morals (even with her psychomatic problems). I used to call someone a “slut” when they used sex to get something, be it a physical object or someone’s affection. Amelia was never a slut, raunchy, vulgar or even perverse. Her sexual lifestyle was inconsistent with the rest of her personal life. Amelia took a lot of showers. She thought it would help. She felt remorse for ever beginning this sexual escapade with this man.